My Wonderful Ex Who I truly Miss. Why is it when you break up you love eachother even more

When I first met K i didn't think we would have anything in common and we were only friends at the time. At first we shared the same things like we were big horror movie fans, we loved the Stephen King movies. I knew a whole lot bout SK and so did he well sort of like Vlad the Impaler. I wasn't expecting us to connect so well and so quick. Like it was suppose to happen. We chatted for a while i was telling him how i had to break up with my ex Andrew because he wouldn't stop cutting hiself if i didn't come back. I never had a suicidial boyfriend , interesting. I didn't really want to i was going through a hard time and i was havign my moments plus we never really talked that much and he livd so far away. When he found out we were breaking up he was so pissed like he called me like ***. I didn't even know that he was in the hospital. All the while me and k started getting closer and closer everyday. Me and Andrew had a big argument. My friend Ryan helped me alot i was really freaked until it was officially over. I never knew someoen could somewhat obsess over me i'm not perfect nor do i want him ruining his life over me thats *** there are plenty of women out there who are better than me. Leaving me disturbed messages. I had talked to k that noght. I told him everything. We talked about alot of craze ***. Then finally i got serious to where i said what if i died he said we'll die together. Then i was his queen and he is my king. As we talked further he attitude aort of changed it became serious, vicious, and strong and i liked it. I think thats what made me more attracted to him that aggression that power i dunno but i loved it. He asked me strange questios of course i answered. Finally this was official we were dating 4 seven months. I was really worried that we would fade away over time and we did. The realtionship as we grew to me was terrible i always end up lovign them tellign them the truth about everything EVERYTHING and still i get hurt maybe i should have stayed with Andrew he cared i regret breaking uo with him i'm so sorry i ever hurt him 4 relationships i just want to know in my 2 long lasting relationships wat did i do wrong is it me my age or what i just wana know what happen please